Overcoming Fear Foods: How to Expand Your Comfort Zone
Do you find yourself feeling anxious around certain foods, or the idea of eating them makes you feel distressed. I’m here to try and help you figure out how to re-integrate these foods into your life. Move away from a fear to a place of food freedom, where all foods are equal.
So first things first - what are fear foods?
Apparently fear foods as a term stems from eating disorder treatment, and refers to foods that you avoid out of fear. Normally the fear is that they will make you gain weight. Fear foods can be individual foods, or whole food groups e.g. carbohydrates, or bread.
Fear foods are directly linked with fatphobia / weight stigma / weight bias - a fear of gaining weight and being fat. If you suffer with fear foods it may be that needs to be addressed.
Exercise - note down foods you may avoid because you perceive them to be ‘bad’. Is it predominantly a list of sweet foods, or foods we think of as ‘unhealthy’? Are you assigning morality to food?
Have a think about the food you eat on a weekly basis, are there any foods you actively avoid, or some that are ‘treats’ reserved for certain days. Maybe something you used to eat all the time until you read it was ‘unhealthy’ or you started a diet and it was ruled out.
Some fear food signs
Thinking about this food makes you stressed / anxious
You find yourself thinking about this food a lot
If you find out a meal contains this food it makes you stressed / anxious / overwhelmed
You find yourself eating the same food all the time / a reduced variety of food
After you eat this food you engage in compensatory mechanisms
You eat in secret / alone more and more
You’ve started avoiding social occasions when that food may be present
You may find yourself bingeing these foods
Side note here - if you’re allergic to said food of course you’re going to be fearful. This is different
Why do we experience fear foods?
We experience fear foods for a whole range of reasons, it may be that certain foods remind you of a situation where someone commented on your eating / a food you were told not to eat as a child. Maybe it’s a food that you see all over the media branded as bad for you or unhealthy.
If you have experienced Orthorexia or ARFID (Avoidant / Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) or Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating Disorder you are more likely to develop fear foods.
What’s wrong with fear foods - aren’t they just “bad” foods?
You might be thinking what’s wrong with ruling out eating “unhealthy foods” like cake, pizza, maybe even bread or pasta. Isn’t that a good way to stay ‘healthy’ or whatever your diet tells you is the end goal? Ultimately ruling out any food / food group is a form of restriction - and so can have negative side effects such as weight cycling.
For some it may lead to constantly thinking about that food, or being anxious around others when they eat it. Is that how you’d want to feel around food?
Other side effects can include food obsession, disordered eating and in some cases nutritional deficiencies e.g. if you cut out a whole food group.
So now you know about fear foods - how to overcome them…
Ditch the labels - not just for these foods but for everything
For some of us it is the labelling of food that leads us to become fearful of them. By removing the black and white thinking about all foods, it removes some of the pressure. It allows us to progress to giving ourselves unconditional permission to eat all foods.
Action - The next time you catch yourself thinking of a food as good / bad ask yourself why you think this.
Action - The next time you catch yourself describing something emotional take a step back and try and describe it objectively - whether out loud or in your head. E.g. it’s a bad meal into it’s a meal that contains x,y,z which are foods.
Action - Unfollow any accounts that demonise foods, often talk about how ‘bad’ certain foods are for you or put others on a pedestal.
2. Write them down
Make a list, check it twice (it’s too soon for Christmas I know but I can’t help but sing it). Note down all the foods you consider forbidden or avoid. It doesn’t have to be shown to anyone, and notice any emotions that arise as you do so. It’s normal to feel “silly” or guilty but this is a needed process. After you’ve made your list, order it somehow in terms of most to least. Then start working through the list from easiest to re-introduce to hardest.
Action - Make a list, and put it somewhere you can update as you remember foods. Maybe you tick it off, or add comments. It’s a reflective process.
3.Mini Challenges
Maybe start with a food you’re slightly uncomfortable with, or adding a sauce to a dish. Little by little you can build to more challenging fear foods. The goal isn’t to go hell for leather like a diet, and crash and burn but rather create change.
Action - Look again at your list - how can you put in place some mini challenges for yourself when it comes to reintroducing fear foods.
4. Collect Evidence
Our brains like evidence of good things - so we have to prove they’re possible. As you start to reintroduce fear foods take note of success, whether that’s physically writing it down or making a mental note / list. The more you start to build up a collection of times something has worked out well, the more you’ll believe it will. It makes sense right - if something goes badly you’ll avoid it, if it goes well you’ll repeat it.
Action - Make a note of successes, . And as you start to plan further challenges make some easy wins for yourself. The target isn’t to challenge yourself to something difficult to do - it’s to push that comfort zone little by little.
5. Visualise Success
It can be hard to be positive when approaching something that makes you super anxious or uncomfortable. So we need to change the mindset into imagining success - and pre-empting possible barriers.
Imagine yourself eating one of your fear foods - what emotions might arise? How can you deal with these emotions e.g. journalling, talking with someone, making a note…
What will it feel like after you eat this food? How will you feel? Glad, underwhelmed, guilty - how can you negate these feelings of guilt - maybe an affirmation or written reminder, maybe you chat through it with a friend, find a support forum, reach out to a nutritionist
Action - Use the above to start visualising eating one of your fear foods. Decide whether you thinking using cope-ahead methods would be useful to you.
6. Little and often, don’t push it
Like making small changes, focus on little additions, adding them often. E.g. bread for breakfast, or as a side during dinner. Rather than a meal that is entirely carb based. Or adding a sauce to meals / having it on the table. Never worry about pushing yourself towards eating a large amount of it if that’s not where you’re at right now. Little by little it will become less overwhelming.
Action - Next to your list of foods write small ways they can be incorporated into everyday meals.
Action - Have check ins with yourself throughout this process - maybe it’s a certain time frame, maybe it’s when you feel like it but make sure you don’t feel you’re pushing yourself too hard. Or that this is something you have to do / want to do.
7. Habituate
Ever spent ages thinking about a food / recipe / meal just to be super dissapointed when you have it. Chances are your fear foods may be the same - forbidden = enticing. We want to tap into a process known as habituation. Repetition = boring. If you ate the same dinner everyday for a week you’d probably get bored of it. The same applies to your fear foods - if you reintroduce a food at one meal then remove it again this doesn’t have a chance to occur.
Action - Make a list of ideas on ways you can incorporate one fear food into a way of eating - this isn’t super structured or planned just any meals you can add it to / occassions you can eat it.
Action - Tell yourself you can have this food whenever you want. Make unconditional peace with food.
8.Pair - fear food + favourite foods
If adding a food seems super overwhelming or means you’ll be sat in front of a plate full of food for what feels like forever as you navigate eating it then maybe consider pairing it with something you want to eat. As a side dish, as a dressing, as an ingredient etc.
Action - Make a list of foods that pair with your fear foods e.g. a topping on porridge, or as a side to dinner with no expectation to eat the whole thing.
9. Build up your emotional regulation skills
Emotional regulation allows you to influence how you feel and present emotions - it’s not suppressing them but rather building your emotional toolkit. This helps work on how you feel before / after eating and around food. Our relationships with food is often very emotional…
Action - Name your emotions, what are you feeling? Sometimes it’s a two step process - I feel angry may actually be feeling isolated and alone, presenting as anger. Do you know what you’re feeling?
Action - Find your triggers - if you find yourself in a cycle of negative emotions around food is there anything that triggers these emotions. Note down when this happens a lot, what leads up to it etc.
Action - Find your outlets, if you find yourself feeling a certain emotion what outlets do you have. Do you start to control your food? Or in restriction, or can you process in other ways?
10. Check your weight stigma / bias / fatphobia?
You might find throughout this process you worry about the effects of this food - in particular about whether it will make you gain weight.
What happens if you do gain weight? Does it change you as a person?
Can one food / meal make you gain weight - is one food / meal indicative of how “healthy” you are. What does healthy mean to you?
Is your moral value tied to your weight? Why do you think so / think not?
Action - Think about what health means to you? What is the basis for this?
Action - Look at who you follow on social media - are they all the same body type? Are they sharing the same message?
11. Widen those goals
As you start to add in fear foods maybe you can widen the goals - maybe it’s to try new recipes, or go out with friends for food. This makes food part of your life, not the focus.
Action - Make a list of some goals that aren’t food related, or that incorporate food.
12. Tap into support
We all need help achieving our goals, and a support group can help in many ways -
I know we often tell people not to eat while distracted but we can actually use this to our advantage, eating with friends means we’re distracted by the conversation so may not think as much about the food
Having someone in your corner can help, even if it’s just for accountability
Action - Make a list of people that can help you in this process
To plan or not to plan?
Some recommend creating a plan with large goals broken down into smaller challenges, laid out with deadline dates. But ultimately you know yourself best - do you work under pressure? Or will the added intensity just make this feel overwhelming? Tap into your support network, trust your intuition as to how much you can handle
Give it time - and celebrate even the smallest of wins...
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